Feet Back on the Ground

Dare I say I am starting to feel more adjusted. I want to be one of those people that make it look easy, not only that, I want it to be easy, not just look like it is. So yay for having goals. Well I must say this week was much easier than last. I wasn't sure I would make it last week but this week I got lots of rest and wallaaaa here I am.

So I had an interesting thing happen to me Monday. I went to my doctor and casually mentioned that I want to get pregnant. Anyone who knows me knows that this is a goal of mine. Well last year at about this time my doctor said we could talk about it in a year. Well Monday he told me he still wants me to wait nine more months. When I voiced frustration he said I could find a new doctor if I did not agree with him. I was like O-M-G. I got in the car and cried. Actual tears yall. It was so hurtful to me because I"felt" like I was bonded to this doctor, like HELLO you got me well. But when he was so like that with me I am going to look into another doctor. Yes, maybe he was just having a bad day, but I was absoultely shocked, floored and my felings were....HURT...that he said that to me. I decided when I left there Monday that if my blood work came back okay I Was gonig to look for a doctor that would help me get prego. My blood work was very well, so stay tuned to see how this story continues.

I am looooving my job. I could not ask for any cuter kids. I told John that he better be careful if I am not pregnant soon. I said we might just end up with a foster baby. I was kidding, but really only half kidding. I crazy love kiddos and kids that have just nothing break my heart. It is one thing to be an adult and still be struggling with the decision to have something or have nothing but to be a tiny child and just have nothing is so heartbreaking. I do have some families that are so crazy about their kids and it makes my heart melt, but there are some that I just want to strangle. And that is far as I am going with that because I don't want to cross some legal or ethical boundary in regards to my work.

I am reading Twilight. Oh....I love it. I really never thought that would be something I was interested in but I rented the movie last weekend out of sheer boredom and now I am almost done with the first book. John came home from work yesterday and I was joking with him and I asked him if he is a vampire. He said, "no, and neither are you". It made me giggle. I have been so into this book I think I might be making him a little nervous.

I guess that is all I got for now. XOXO