Keep Calm and Carry On

Blogging, second night in a row.lol. It used to NOT feel like work to blog, but right this minute, it does. I wish the ambien would just kick in and work its magic so I can go to sleepville. So I had a productive day. I cleaned Sofia's play room. Like, I really cleaned it....WELL. It looks good.I have it set up in stations, and today Sofia and I went to Target and bought a little clothes hanger so that we can hang up her dress clothes. We also bought some hooks so she can hang her jewelry. ADORABLE. I love it. Sofia loves it. Her play room is set up in "stations". She has her dress up station, arts and crafts station, library, kitchen with table, baby doll station, and then all of her potato heads, barbies, my little ponies, etc....each have their own little bin and they are on a shelf together. I also bought knobs and put knobs on her dressers. That has been a job that has been put off a loooooooooong time.

I finally made a to do list and knocked a few things off of it. The problem with me and lists is, I dont like anything too overwhelming. I feel like if I am in the mind set of making a list I will have to constantly be remembering the list and remembering to put things on this list. Just stresses me. That is the reason I don't really do lists. But today, I grabbed a little notebook and went thru the house and looked around at different things I thought might need to be done. So my list ended up with hand soap, ice trays, new cloggers for the kitchen sink, tide rapid stain release, etc. I also got one bonus purchase today that I LOVED. I got a sign that said...........Keep Calm and Carry On. I hung it on my wall, right here next to my bed. So 118 dollars later we were done with Target.

We ended up going over to our friends Mike and Courtneys, for the second time in one week because they had a crawfish boil. It was awesome. They are very sweet people with awesome kids. They also had wonderful friends. It feels good for John and I to move out of our comfort zone and hang out with people who aren't our usual crowd. Don't get me wrong we love our usual crowd but branching out aint so bad either.

I am realy feeling better about myself this past week or so. I feel like I hit ROCK mutha freaking bottom with the IVF journey. And not so ironically enough I hit mutha freaking rock bottom when we had our failed IUI last year. I guess truth be told, WOW is IVF OMG IUI FML a nightmare all the way around. YOu are INVESTEDDDDDDDDD whether you want to be or not. ALl your eggs are in one basket, or in my case one incubator....lol.....and you have absolutely no control. There is the part of me, that I guess I really need to work out in therapy that is like....do I really want to get pregnant, like really go there, get pregnant, stay pregnant, and as an end result have a baby? It is a question that I really need to figure out the answer too. Ofcourse more than anything in this world I want another baby, made of John and I, that is totally ours, BUT I am not totally against adopting if that doesn't happrn. Infact, I always wanted to adopt at some point. Maybe this is that point, and I am just not seeing that this is where I need to be focusing my energy. It is definately on my mind.

Keep Calm and Carry On!!!! That's what I am gonna do.