The Purple People Eater

I have always had anxiety, and yes, since having my Daughter enter my life it has gotten worse. But can it have reached another level, even higher? Has it really reached the level of agorophobia and panic attacks? Not just silly little panic attacks, but the real deal, the ones that make you feel like you are floating up out of your body and looking down at yourself...thinking "whoa, she is really losing it down there." And why this new level of anxiety? Why has it gotten even worse, when my life seems to be reaching a plateau. I know why! It is the Purple People Eater. Have I lost my mind.....well maybe, but I am convinced that the Purple People Eater is not a good thing. It prays on people like me. People that have lived in chaos and drama for the better parts of their lives and who may have actually found peace, love, happiness and maybe that "balance" that we have yearned for for so long. The Purple People Eater is not down with that and he is out to destroy it. The Purple People Eater prays on the innocent and the people who have finally found happiness. He jumps inside your head and thinks..."What are little worries that this person has...and how can I blow them up and make this person really stress out about them." Some call it relentless self sabotage, I call it the Purple People Eater. Well the bad news for him is that now that I am on to his game I see it for just that....a game....a game he is playing with my head trying to keep me from being happy and truly content because my brain really doesn't know how to process "happy and truly content".....because it hasn't truly been existent for such a long time. I am glad that I realized who the Purple People Eater is sooner rather than later. Everything has sort of fallen into place for me over the past few years and I almost feel undeserving. That is why he chose me to prey on. Knowing that I control him just by knowing he is there gives me the power to defeat him. And defeat him...I finally think I have.