I Come With Baggage

The picture to the right is me with one of my bestest and oldest friends, Lilia. We met when I was 14, and she is Sofia's God Mother. I finally got to spend some time with her this weekend, actually two days in a row. (that never happens)

Duh...that is not such a surprise is it? I love my blog because it is such a brain sorter for me. I made kindof a big decision today and gave me resignation at work. I am not sure exactly what I want to do at this point, but it is already such a lifting off of my shoulders to know that as of January 7th, 2010, this job will not be expecting my services 40 hours a week. (or more) I am happy that I had the opportunity to work at this job and I feel like I have learned a great deal. But it is too demanding for the type of life that I need to have. I need stability and down time. I need time to unwind. For the past six months I hit the ground running at 7am and don't stop until like 10:00 at night. There is no break in there either. It always seemed like I was running like crazy from one job to the next. One house to the next, turning one thing in just to have another late. It is non-stop. I am searching for a Full Time or even Part Time job, I have five weeks so hopefully something will happen. I have already submitted my resume to a few places.

And for the cliff hanger big announcement that I have been talking about. John and I have the opportunity to adopt. I found out about this the second week of September, and I jumped on board, both feet, both arms, ecstatic. But then reality sat in. What if they don't give the baby away? What if there is something wrong with the baby? What if....what if...what if...John and I had decided not to move forward with the adoption. We decided the risk was higher than the reward. Tonight I told this to the birth family and they very plainly told me that they want John and I to adopt the baby. So I said that I have alot to think about. My Pros and Cons list shows more Cons...but my heart says yes, yes, yes. I have alot to think about. I have my "deal breakers" if you will. I am going to lay out John and my stipulations, and if they do not agree with them, or we cannot come to a compromise....Deal Breaker, shut it down. :)

I'll keep you posted.